The musings of a caffeinated insomniac.

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Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:49:18 GMT

Work was not bad, other than the fact that I have bruises where no one should ever have bruises from a job. But alas.

Last night for the week. Andrew should be there tonight. Can't..wait, I guess.

But I think, that you're wild...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:45:02 GMT

Judy

hey

2:39pmBriana

Hey lady. I haven't had reception all day.

Did Liz call you again? She left me a kinda garbled voicemail.

2:39pmJudy

i just talked to liz...your dad is doing ok

he;s stable

2:40pmBriana

I got something about internal bleeding from the voicemail, but..that was really about it. What the hell happened?

2:40pmJudy

yep varicose veins in his esopagus

2:40pmBriana

ugh

2:41pmJudy

common with this kind of cancer

but, they were able to band them off which stops the bleed

2:41pmBriana

Good.

2:41pmJudy

and they are giving him tansfusion

transfusion

2:42pmBriana

Glad to hear he's stable..

2:42pmJudy

and he's alert oriented and pissed

2:42pmBriana

Haha. That's a good sign. XD

I had other stuff to post, but I'm gonna go cry now.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:35:22 GMT

Ambulance just came and got my dad. I know nothing other than that.

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Tue, 03 Nov 2009 07:01:03 GMT

Hmm.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:17:01 GMT

Am I faithful, am I strong? Am I good enough to belong?
In your reverie, a perfect girl.
Your vision of romance is cruel, and all along I played the fool.
All your expectations bury me..

Don't worry, you will find the answer if you let it go,
Give yourself some time to falter,
But don't forgo, know that you're loved no matter what,
And everything will come around in time.

I own my insecurities, I try to own my destiny,
That I can make or break it if I choose.
But you take my words and twist them 'round,
Til I'm the one who brings you down,
Make me feel like I'm the one to blame for all of this...

Don't worry, you will find the answer if you let it go,
Give yourself some time to falter,
But don't forgo, know that you're loved no matter what,
And everything will come around in time.

You need everybody with you on your side,
Know that I am here for you, but I hope in time.
You'll find yourself alright alone,
You'll find yourself with open arms,
You'll find yourself, you'll find yourself in time.

The riot in my heart decides, to keep me open and alive.
I have to take myself away from you.
'Cause I can't compete, I can't deny, there's nothing that I didn't try.
How did I go wrong in loving you?

Don't worry, you will find the answer if you let it go.
Give yourself some time to falter,
But don't forgo, know that you're loved no matter what,
And everything will come around in time...

-

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:44:57 GMT

Ever feel like you can do NOTHING right?

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:43:43 GMT

sdflhf everyone is going horde why haven't I

She's not the kind of girl who likes to tell the world about the way she feels about herself...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:02:35 GMT

I haven't given a real update in awhile now. I'm not exhausted, and I don't really have anywhere I have to or need to rush off to, though a large part of me wants to go somewhere or do something.

I've been wanting to do that a lot lately. Run, that is. It seems like no matter where I turn, there's drama afoot. I mean, granted, in most cases the issues that are at hand are important ones. It doesn't change the fact that I am tired mentally from all of this. I really can't bring myself to WANT to be here, to deal with any of it.

Nathan wrote a rather in-detail entry the other day, noting how I compared him and Mitch. He misconstrued it, greatly, but it made me think a lot more than I figure it was intended to.

I was still thinking about it into the next night, in which he did not work. All night, people were asking me where he was. It made me realize how much of my (week)day consists of his presence, and vice-versa. Paired with his entry, something made me think that just maybe, his life would be a tad bit easier if I wasn't in it. He wouldn't second-guess the things he talked about, in fear of pissing me off. He wouldn't have to re-think his re-enlistment (There are too many re's here), and could flat out do whatever he wanted without worrying about, again, pissing me off. And knowing how he feels about me, there would be an ease on that...

When Sam came around the corner and asked me where Nathan was, I told him. I also got the line, "I think...I'm done with this job." halfway out of my mouth before I stopped myself. I need the money, and Nathan (Not to mention over half of my household) would have been angry with me if I'd just let go and given up that easily. I ended up telling Nathan that I'd damn near quit, and as I had predicted, he wasn't pleased. My mood wasn't the greatest over the rest of the night, either.

Over the course of the weekend, I didn't bother being on my PC all that much. I went out, got groceries for the house. I made dinner for the family. Hell, I baked. I watched the kids. I took Dustin, my mom, and Scott out to lunch. I bought my grandmother lunch. I don't think I even touched my phone for more than a total of ten minutes over the two day period. I spent a lot of time with Dustin, be it beating the crap out of him in Tekken, running the menial errands, exploring random, old stores, or just talking. It was...nice. It was more than nice. It was a definite change.

This week thus far, not so nice. Once again I'm back in the doghouse, or something, for that in which I do not even know the origins of. I get the "it's me, not you" (Oh, see? I changed it up) bit, of course, but that always runs into an underlying something or other that I am doing or not doing to make him...however he is. It seems like an end-of-the-week thing every week now. One complaint I know that is going to come up again (Yay, journal) is going to be what time I go to bed, or don't go to bed. Constantly am I told I should "give it a whirl", this whole going to bed earlier and getting up earlier bit. What he doesn't seem to hear, repeatedly, is that I've "given it a whirl". I did it constantly when I was seeing David. The result was Aron having to wake me up in the coffee aisle a couple of times. Hell, I tried it day before yesterday. The result was an awesome three and a half hours of sleep, total, in which I ended up going to bed later in the day anyway. I'd rather not do that again. I thought I was going to die the first few months I was working at Walmart because of my sleep habits. This seems to work.

It seems like, lately, I can't have the right answer for anyone. Someone's mad at me for something, constantly, and there is no right move to make to fix it. If there is, someone else is mad at me for fixing the issue with someone else. I cannot win for them, and I cannot win for myself. Thus, wanting to run away.

It's almost kind of sad. I walked home in the rain yesterday (By choice, mind you), and I think it's the closest thing to being at peace I have felt in a very, very long time.

Can't worry 'bout the past 'cause that was yesterday...

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:18:01 GMT

Good to know there are at least two overnight managers who don't hate me/have a sense of humor!

..Yeah hi. Work dragged on way too long. D:

Everytime I see you standin' there, I go down upon my knees...

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:47:41 GMT

'Had an amazing weekend. It's surprising what life can be like when you actually shut the doors on all the problems and other bullshit for a few hours and just...relax. I'm not ready for it to end.

Beep.

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:15:11 GMT

Closing doors is getting a lot easier. Usually is when the person demanding you do and say nothing but nice things to/for/about them is being a total bitch about everything. Whatevs. I don't have time for that anymore.

On a sidenote, my currently baking cheesecake brownies smell absolutely delicious.

Everbody has a private world that they can be alone...

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:39:11 GMT

I guess I get to deal with this now.

Briana Russell I should stop promising to be the supprotive friend; It's harder than it sounds. But grats for Mitch and Dustin, I guess.
7 hours ago via Mobile Texts · Comment · Like / Unlike · View Feedback (13)Hide Feedback (13)
Nathan Gurney
Nathan Gurney
I guess someone has to be happy about it..
7 hours ago · Delete
Briana Russell
Briana Russell
That's your job.
6 hours ago · Delete
Nathan Gurney
Nathan Gurney
then I fail
6 hours ago · Delete
Briana Russell
Briana Russell
Fail.
6 hours ago · Delete
Angelo Scaccianoce
Angelo Scaccianoce
o.O
6 hours ago · Delete
Briana Russell
Briana Russell
Shh.
6 hours ago · Delete
Dustin Davis
Dustin Davis
.. Why does this feel like some kind of cut at me? And I feel like I haven't even done anything to deserve it?
3 hours ago · Delete
Briana Russell
Briana Russell
It's not.
3 hours ago · Delete
Dustin Davis
Dustin Davis
Then maybe you can explain what it means. You put me in the same group as Mitch, and say I should be "happy" about you saying you're "not the supportive friend" anymore. .. What?
3 hours ago · Delete
Briana Russell
Briana Russell
Hop on MSN.
3 hours ago · Delete
Dustin Davis
Dustin Davis
Dislike this..
3 hours ago · Delete
Nathan Gurney
Nathan Gurney
pretty simple...I reenlisted. both you and mitch have complained about how close I was to bri. soon ill be out of yalls hair.
3 hours ago · Delete
Dustin Davis
Dustin Davis
The funny thing is I haven't complained.. I'm not sure how many times I've told that to Bri. I'm pretty sure I've told you personally as well. Your friendship with her doesn't bother me as much as you'd be led to believe. But, on another note..

Good luck with that, Nathan. I'm sure PT will be more like a warmup considering your current training. Regardless, be careful mate.
3 hours ago · Delete

The status update I made, at least, the last part of it, wasn't a cut at Dustin. It was actually a shot at Nathan, though not really deserved. You see, the way he told me that he re-enlisted last night was by saying, "Well, Mitch and Dustin will be happy in January." The status update was most definitely aimed at him, not...those two. I actually tried to tell Dustin this on my break, via MSN, but every message I sent to him was met with "User is offline", and the message wasn't sent.

Didn't stop the snarky note that was left for me, though. Misunderstandings seem to be the worst with us, especially when I have no means of explaining...well, anything. Whatever.

So, yeah. Nathan re-enlisted. I can't really say I'm surprised. I kind of figured he would, following one of his FB statuses over the weekend (" Nathan Gurney Is looking over the papers, waiting on the change that I fear is coming. I'm going to find the best in it all.
Yesterday at 10:21am · Comment · Like"), that I was tempted to comment and tell him not to even think about it, but... eh. Who am I to tell him what to do, or what might be best for him? I'm not. And I'm pretty sure I'm the one that told him to do what he wants to do, and not let anything hold him back.

Am I happy about it? I won't lie. No. But, what can ya do? I can be exactly what I said I should stop promising to be, the supportive friend. Like I said, I expected it. I've dealt with worse, methinks... I feel bad, really. I should be happy for him. Nothing like a Bri to rain on somebody's parade.

Meh. Ice cream is less of a comfort food than I remember it being.

She's the one who keeps me all excited, she keeps me beggin' for more...

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:28:12 GMT

I'm coming to realize that there is no way for me to make all parties happy. No matter what I say, what decision I make, whatever, someone's going to be upset, or pissed off at me.

I think I'm done trying, to be perfectly honest.

The yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do...

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:49:30 GMT

Do you believe in the concept of a soulmate? Do you think you've met him or her? Do you ever worry that "the one" got away?

View 1843 Answers

I almost want to slap the shit out of this one, but it's too ironic not to go with.

I think my belief in the concept of a soulmate tends to vary. Sometimes, I'm 100% convinced that they exist, that I've met him, and all is well. Other times, my belief is the polar opposite. It's hard to put any thought into it existing when there are such large differences between yourself and the person you may push that title upon.

..and, no. I try not to think like that, to be perfectly honest. Moving on.

I called in last night. Between two near misses with DEATH, the fact I felt like ass, the fact every part of me hurt like a bitch, and not getting any sleep, I said screw it. Called in, got my confirmation number...couldn't get any managers to pick up. Fairly certain I'm going to get written up tonight, or worse, fired. I'm prepared for the first one. The second would..sort of suck.

And before it's asked, yeah. Work blew night before last.

Dustin's here now. He showed up night before last. Already, he's got a job, working alongside my mother and all that jazz. I can't say that the thought isn't a little awkward to me, or the idea of walking in there during the day and seeing him instead of a certain other turd isn't going to be weird, but...I'll deal. A job's a job, and I'm glad he found one (a fuck of a lot) quicker than I did when I first moved here. Now, if I can keep mine, all will be well.

Tonight's going to blow (if I'm not canned). Friday is stationary night. All I can hope for is a small pallet for stationary, and them needing me elsewhere. Hopehopehope.

..Nathan gets kudos. Curve is officially 1/3 men's scents I don't hate.

Walk away if you want to, it's okay if you need to, well you can run,b ut you can never hide...

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:27:35 GMT

Work's alright. Or..was alright, whatever. We're supposed to get freight-raped tonight so I've been told. The night went by fairly fast, and Nathan fed me again. Can't complain, really.

I dunno. I feel like crap all of a sudden. Maybe a shower'll clear my head.

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:36:31 GMT

"You caused him pain.. If the world is just, you have to suffer equally? You're not God, you're just another screwed up human being who needs to move on."

Seven days since I've seen your face, seven nights I have laid to waste...

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:48:47 GMT

A couple of days ago, I got into it with Mitch again. Massively. I guess the last full-fledged entry I posted up that mentioned him set him off, and he tried to pull something to be vindictive that (had any of it been true) would have impacted mine and Dustin's relationship in a horrible way. Rather than go the usual route of trying to clear up the e-mail he sent and ignore the existence of what he did, I called him up. We fought. Loudly. I'm fairly certain my neighbors hate me now. It stung, but I prided myself on the fact that I didn't cry. For once, after fighting with him, I didn't cry. When we hung up, however, the only way I can really describe how I felt was..empty. There was no minor feeling of victory, no anger, no..anything. Just empty. I had no idea where to go from that point.

Immediately following that, as I was sitting around contemplating what step to take next, Dustin called me. After explaining what had just happened, and the full of the situation (again), he and I fought. And the waterworks started up. It seems getting yelled at by two people in one hour is too much for me.

I've been accused of not caring a lot lately. Maybe not even so much "lately" as the past few months all together. The truth is, I do care. A great deal. I may be awesome at putting up fronts nowadays, but not caring? I cannot think of a single time in my entire life when I've simply not cared. I don't even have to know the person...

I've lost a lot of friends this year. I started doing a little mental math earlier, and the loss count is almost depressing. Most of the people I lost were tremendous friends, at one point in time and in one way or another. Every single one of them was a blow that had a huge impact on me, though differently, and I just.. I don't know, really. I lost Ang, and it threw me for a hell of a loop. David got way too many tears out of me, and a lot of "Are you okay??"s at work for a few weeks. Mitch... I was so violently ill over that one, not only did work notice (Especially the first time. Heh.), my mom was horribly worried about me. There's a number of others I'm not going to bother listing. I kinda got to thinking about it. Outside of Dustin, the only person I keep around me anymore that I fully trust or even really give a damn about is Nathan. Mid-talking to him via texts earlier, I started wondering. What happens if I lose him? When I lose him, I guess I could say, given how awesome my luck with friends has gone thus far. How am I going to react to that one? How's Dustin going to take my reaction, or, heh, will he even give a crap? And of course... Then what?

I can't go back and change the past. In some of the aforementioned, and unlisted, situations, I wouldn't change them. Not for anything. The results are unfortunate, but the lessons needed to be learned. I am -so- grateful to have Nathan and Dustin in my life, though I may not see eye to eye with them....well, ever. They're both there for me, no questions asked. At least, not if they know I really need it. It's...hard to find people like that these days. I guess I really am lucky.

Work was horrible yesterday. Not at all looking forward to the week ahead. Not in the least.

And I'm crazy, for tryin'a be your lady...

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:35:26 GMT

My knee hurts, and has an awesome bruise under it. My ankles, both of them, are swollen and one hurts like hell. Add in the wrist pain, all the minor cuts and scrapes that burn like hell, and Nathan's random bruise, and I am a sore Bri.

Even so, tonight didn't suck. Kinda sucked, but..no much. Ended well. Here's hoping tonight sucks just as less...equally? ...

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:13:27 GMT

'Day went from bad, to worse, to completely fucked up.

And my thoughts are tellin' me I'm trippin'...

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:35:18 GMT

Another night down, as Nathan would say. Last night absolutely blew, and somehow I knew it would. It wasn't a freight issue, it was a massive manager issue. I wasn't the only one who felt it, or had to deal with it, and apparently it was obvious even to our customers how hard certain people were coming down on the grocery side of the store. But, all's said and done. Two days to go, and I'll have two more days of peace and quiet. Or...a lot of bullshit, whichever.

I've flipped through a lot of old (Semi..old) journal entries in the last couple of days, done a lot of song-listening, done a lot of thinking, and done a lot of soul-searching. It's kind of strange to me, how insistent I was at the beginning of summer that I had changed, and I had let go of who I used to be, only to completely do a 180 on that claim when Dustin accused me of changing. I don't know if it was a form of defense or...what, but I've noticed lately that I find myself, when dealing with him, forcing myself to be the person he knew when I was in Ohio, whereas any other time I'm..me.

As much as he never wants to hear about the "past" (IE: Summer), I can't help but bring it up, or reference to it. As much as he may not like to admit it, or like it in general, a lot about me changed this summer. A lot of my beliefs changed. A lot of how I look at...well, everything I suppose, changed. I can't, and won't, deal with all of the bullshit that I used to anymore. and yet I've...been putting up with all of it, all over again.

David was a flash in the pan sort of deal for me. Something that happened at a convenient time to help me get over something I'd convinced myself for near-three years that would devastate me if I lost it. When you can replace old memories with new ones, pain from the past is less present. Unless you're me, I guess. I have a hard time forgetting, and I tend to pick the real winners that don't help heal the pain, they just add on to it. David most definitely didn't get all of me, but he sure as hell did help me rediscover a part of myself that I thought had been long dead. I don't know when it happened, where, or why, but I'd certainly become far too dependent on everyone around me, and yet far too concerned about everyone but myself. When Dustin 'left', I turned to him. I got shot down, and in that, had to teach myself how to pick myself back up all over again.

I've been worried about stepping on everyone's toes for way too long, and I'm tired of it. I lost one of THE most important people in the entire world to me because I wouldn't cater to what he thought was the "right" things for me to be doing over summer (Well, sort of). Why am I clamming up now?

I am what I am. I do what I do. As far as I'm concerned, if you really want me in your life, you take me, ALL of me, or forget the entire deal.

And..semi-unrelated, my song for last summer. I figured out why I like it so much. We're also going to pretend like I didn't get the artist wrong.

Eff LJ cuts, as this is going on my site journal as well.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

I promised myself I wouldn't weep, one more promise I couldn't keep...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:14:22 GMT

And another payday flies by. To be honest, last night didn't really suck. Even with the snarky commentary from a certain manager, the explosive bottles, tearing up four-ways with my sweater, and the fact I was in HBA, last night just...wasn't bad.

I don't actually have a lot of reason to update this today. I just felt like it deserved attention. Things've been relatively neutral on the homefront, sort of. Aside from the tire-slashing and the Bizz-fighting and the Nathan-...harming, and all else. I dunno. I'm strangely calm today.

And that's all I have to say. D:

So tired that I couldn't even sleep, so many secrets I couldn't keep...

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:37:49 GMT

I am exhausted. I don't know why I'm exhausted. I've had plenty of sleep, plenty of caffeine, and last night was a light night. I am just -drained-, no matter what I do.

Work was okay. It was...work. The highlight of my night had to have been Nathan's retort to Andrew giving him shit about how fast (Or, in Andrew's view, how slow) he and Sherie work together while Nathan was off the clock. I've never seen Leigh's eyes so wide before. I've never had such a hard time biting my tongue and not laughing before, either.

We went to Subway, saw JD. Many jokes were made at my expense, both by JD and Nathan. I feel the love.

Now, I play WoWs, talk to Bizz, and try not to pass out.

God, why do I like this song so much?

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:50:41 GMT

I've never heard of this situational "talk to me" bullcrap. Do or don't, imo.

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:39:55 GMT

Bri - [Sweet temptation rush all over me, and I think about it all the time...] says (12:35 PM):
*....
*http://unwept-tears.deadjournal.com/19739.html?mode=reply
*^
Nathan says (12:37 PM):
*hmm...really liked creed didnt you
Bri - [Sweet temptation rush all over me, and I think about it all the time...] says (12:37 PM):
*rofl
*Sure!
*I forgot.
Nathan says (12:37 PM):
*lol...that songs set to be played at my funeral btw
Bri - [Sweet temptation rush all over me, and I think about it all the time...] says (12:37 PM):
*The same day I got my "clarity" was the same day I broke my jaw.
Nathan says (12:38 PM):
*ironic
Bri - [Sweet temptation rush all over me, and I think about it all the time...] says (12:38 PM):
*Maybe it WASN'T the music and the clear sky.. xD
Nathan says (12:38 PM):
*lol nice

Tying in with this memories business...

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:07:10 GMT

Songs I've (lyrically) ever actually found fitting for one reason or another, or toward someone, and actually meant something to me. I won't say what, why, when, where, or who, as some of them apply to multiple situations, but... Here goes.

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Something's changing inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinking of you
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember how I felt inside now honey
You got to make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight

Dis-moi simplement si tu veux de moi
Quand tu partiras là-bas
Vers ces dunes sèches de sable et de vent
Cet océan jaune et blanc
Perdu dans le désert
Tu es perdu dans le désert

Montre-moi ma place sur ces pierres flammes
Pour que j'oublie les jours d'avant
Pour que je protège ton corps et ton âme
Des mirages que tu attends

Perdu dans le désert

Si la poussière emporte tes rêves de lumière
Je serai ta lune, ton repère
Et si le soleil nous brûle, je prierai qui tu voudras
Pour que tombe la neige au Sahara

Si le désert est le seul remède à tes doutes
Femme de sel, je serai ta route
Et si la soif nous brûle, je prierai tant qu'il faudra
Pour que tombe la neige au Sahara

Dis-moi si je peux couvrir tes épaules
De voiles d'or et d'argent
Quand la nuit fera tourner la boussole
Vers les regrets froids des amants

Perdu dans le désert

Si la poussière emporte tes rêves de lumière
Je serai ta lune, ton repère
Et si le soleil nous brûle, je prierai qui tu voudras
Pour que tombe la neige au Sahara

Si le désert est le seul remède à tes doutes
Femme de sel, je serai ta route
Et si la soif nous brûle, je prierai tant qu'il faudra
Pour que tombe la

Well I'm shameless
When it comes to loving you,
I'll do anything you want me to,
I'll do anything at all.

And I'm standing
Here for all the world to see,
Oh, baby that's what's left of me,
I don't have very far to fall.

You know now I'm not a man who's ever been
Insecure about the world I've been living in.
I don't break easy, I have my pride,
But if you need to be satisfied

I'm shameless.
Honey, I don't have a prayer.
Every time I see you standing there
I go down upon my knees.

And I'm changing,
Swore I'd never compromise,
Oh, but you convinced me otherwise.
I'll do anything you need.

You see in all my life I've never found
What I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down.
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew,
But I can't walk away from you.

I have never had anything have this much control on me.
I've worked too hard to call my life my own.
And I've made myself a world, and it's worked so perfectly,
But it sure won't now, I can't refuse,
I've never had so much to lose.
And I'm shameless...

You know it should be easy for a man who's strong
To say he's sorry or admit when he's wrong.
I've never lost anything I ever missed,
But I've never been in love like this.
It's out of my hands.

I'm shameless.
I don't have the power now,
And I don't want it anyhow,
So I gotta let it go.

And I'm shameless.
Shameless as a man can be.
You could make a total fool of me.
I just wanted you to know
That I'm shameless.

In another's eyes, I'm someone who
Loves her enough to walk away from you
I'd never cheat and I would never lie
In another's eyes, yeah

In another's eyes, I can do no wrong
He believes in me and his faith is strong
I'd never fall or even compromise
In another's eyes, mmm

In another's eyes
I'm afraid that I can't see
This picture-perfect portrait
That they paint of me
They don't realize
And I pray they never do
'Cause, ev'ry time I look
I'm seein' you
In another's eyes

Oh, in another's eyes starin' back at me
I see a sinkin' soul tryin' desp'rately
To turn the tide before it dies
In another's eyes, yeah

And what they don't see
Lord, it's killing me
It's a blessing and a curse
That love is blind

'Cause, in another's eyes
I'm afraid that I can't see
This picture-perfect portrait
That they paint of me
They don't realize
And I pray to God they never do
'Cause, ev'ry time I look
I'm seein' you
In another's eyes

In another's eyes
In another's eyes

More to be added. Getting lazy.